09年即将流行的牛B语录--EVE ISK

yongtong512

1.80后的重要任务是制造08后。

2.事实证明，感情经得起风雨，却经不起平淡；友情经得起平淡，却经不起风雨。

3.人家有的是背景，而我有的只是背影~~。

4.是金子总要发光的，但当满地都是金子的时候，我自己也不知道自己是哪颗了。

5.提醒大家要学会修自己的笔记本，这是很重要的！从前有个人，他不会修自己的笔记本......后来的事情大家都知道了。

6.我不是广场上算卦的，唠不出那么多你爱听的嗑。

7.不是故事的结局不够好，而是我们对故事的要求过多！

8.爱情就像两个拉橡皮筋的人，受伤的总是不愿放手的那个。

9.鲜花往往不属于赏花的人，而属于牛粪。

10.谎言与誓言的区别在于：一个是听的人当真了，一个是说的人当真了。

11.单身并不难，难的是应付那些千方百计想让你结束单身的人。

12.有时候，不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看的太重。

13.就算是believe，中间也藏着一个lie。

14.付出真心，才会得到真心，却也可能伤的彻底。保持距离，就能保护自己，却也注定永远寂寞。

15.真正的好朋友，并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题，而是在一起，就算不说话，也不会觉得尴尬。

16.没有100分的另一半，只有50分的两个人！

17.冷漠，有时候并不是无情，只是一种逃避被伤害的工具！

18.如果我们之间有1000步的距离，你只要跨出第1步，我就会朝着你的方向走其余的999步。

19.通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人，才是真正爱你的人！

20、人生没有彩排，每天都是直播；不仅收视率低，而且工资不高。

21、能用钱解决的问题都不是问题，可问题是我是穷人。

22、春天到了，小树发芽了，股市也跟着变绿了。

23、唯女人与英雄难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也。

24、不要整天抱怨生活，生活根本就不会知道你是谁，更别说它会听你的抱怨。

25、只知道刚的人，难免会被折断；只有柔的人，到头来终是懦夫。

26、问一同事：“你买了中石油吗？”同事说：“呸！你才买了中石油呢。你们全家都买了中石油，还买了中石化！”

27、信念这玩意不是说出来的，是做出来的。光荣在于平淡，艰巨在于漫长。

28、人生重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。

29.踏遍青楼人未老，请用汇仁肾宝。

30.征婚启事：要求如下，A活的，B女的。

31.给点阳光我就腐烂。

32.要适当吃一点，才有力气减肥。

33.摇啊摇，摇到奈何桥。

34.你快回来，我一人忽悠不来！

35.不要和地球人一般见识~~~

36.不想当厨子的裁缝，不是好司机。

37、爱我的人我不爱他 我爱的人却不爱我 所以我很好奇为什么会有那么多人结婚

38、爱情就像快餐，不在乎什么味道，能填饱生理需要就可以

49、爱 就像打篮球 拼命的抢 拼命的追 当得到以后便毫不犹豫的抛出去

40、为了更好的离婚 我们结婚吧

41、缘分一词本就是个矛盾的个体，缘，分？

42、老虎不发威是给你hello kitty的面子

43、那天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了千万别买基金啊~

44、如果中了一千万，我就去买30套房子租给别人，每天都去收一次房租。哇咔咔~~充实!

45、凡是在食堂、自习室、教学楼前当众疯狂接吻的――都是开不起房的！！！

46、刚从日企实习完的女同学回来感慨道：“不管多高档的会议、多高档的人参加，那帮人台上斯文地在跟你开着会，而台下却总有人在摸你大腿！”

47女友和我分居了，其实我们的性生活还是蛮和谐的――我性无能，她性冷淡……

48、现在女孩身上衣服件数越多，反而露得越多；衣服件数越少，反而露得越少！49、人家文院女生身上莫名元素一大堆，还露着大腿呢；咱们工院女生就外套+裤子，两件就把全身裹了个严严实实！

50、哄女人像挂Q一样，每天至少两小时，达到一定的天数后就可以太阳了……

51、假如给女孩一个安全的环境，她能Y D得让你流鼻血流到死！

52、朋友的老婆叫“有容”，他真幸福～而我心中的最爱还是“依山尽”……

53、PPMM都是过眼的浮云，永恒的只有那温暖的右手……

54、对女人你要多用心去感受，别拿你的龟*头去思考！

56、就因为你,青岛海域都出现大海怪了!!!

57、我都不好意思抓你了，你怎么还好意思偷呢？

58、你的样子长得不孕不育的！

59、你就是陈佩斯的搭档朱时茂的妹妹猪八戒啊？

60、很高兴,又凑够1块5,终于又能上网了！

61、物价与欧洲接轨，房价与月球接轨，工资与非洲接轨……

62、别和我谈理想，戒了 ！

63、妈妈说:人最好不要错过两种东西.最后一班回家的车,和一个深爱你的人.我想坐着最后一班车到爱我的人身边.

64、宁可高傲的发霉，不去卑微的恋爱！

65、去爱吧，如同没有受过伤一样；歌唱吧，如同没人聆听一样；跳舞吧，如同没人欣赏一样；工作吧,就当没有工资一样;生活吧，就当今天是未日一样

66、这辈子，你是来放债的还是来还债的？

67、男人是用来靠的，所以要可靠；女人是用来爱的，所以要可爱。

68、男人喜欢听话的女人，但男人若是喜欢一个女人，就会不知不觉听她的话。

69、你让我滚,我滚了。你让我回来,对不起,滚远了

70、你有什么不开心的事? 说出来让大家开心一下.

71、用iphone的人都有个共同点：就是不好意思说不好用。

72、生子当如孙仲谋,找爹就找金日成。

73、孟姜女哭倒长城干红,白娘子水漫金山词霸。

74、您真是贱人多忘事啊

75、时有风吹裙动，一僧曰风动，一僧曰裙动，吾进曰：是非风动，是非裙动，色者心动！

76、作为一名烟客，必须具备三个条件：烟、打火机、及抽烟时露出的那种无耻神韵！]

77、很黑的深夜，我突然想要学习，可是当我找到蜡烛的时候，天已经亮了……

78、现在的硕士学位，就像脚底的一粒米，不拿不舒服，拿了又不能吃

79、我把一万句誓言装在机枪里向你扫射，你倒在血泊中，浑身镶满了丘比特的子弹！

80、我费劲千辛爬上梯子的顶端，却发现梯子搭错了墙头

81、孩子死了，你来奶了！

82、现在的导师都不叫导师，也不叫老板，叫科研包工头！

83、扛一面顶风的大旗～～上写两个大字：好人！！

84、人要是无聊啊 鼻涕泡都能拿来玩会

85、逆风的方向，更适合飞翔。我不怕万人阻挡，只怕自己投降.

86、好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界

87、上班无聊吗？抛硬币玩吧，正面就上网，反面就睡觉，竖起就工作，倾斜就努力工作，摔粉碎了就申请加班，如果摔出两枚，那就天天摔！

88、同志们：别炒股，风险太大了，还是做豆腐最安全！做硬了是豆腐干，做稀了是豆腐脑，做薄了是豆腐皮，做没了是豆浆，放臭了是臭豆腐！稳赚不亏呀.

89、我终究没能飙得过那辆宝马，只能眼看着它在夕阳中绝尘而去，不是我的引擎不好，而是我的车链子掉了.

挂个链子，觉得经典~~~~~~

一妇女拿jiacao去买早点，小贩恼了：“大姐，你给jiacao也就算了，那起码是张印的，你这张钞票居然是画的！退一万步说，画的也就算了，你给画一张十块的、五块的都行，你还给画张七块的！ 七块就七块吧，最起码也得画彩色的啊，居然用铅笔，算了，黑白就黑白的好了，可不能用手纸画啊！手感太差了，就算是手纸你也得用剪子把边剪齐了啊，这个用手撕的，毛边太夸张了，行，毛边我也忍了，可你也撕个长方型啊，这个三角型就太说不过去了

89、以后的呢？还有谁看过呢？嘿嘿――

90、原来,寂寞时是自己的手指数脚指；原来，思念时是连呼吸也会心痛；原来，一个人就是一辈子...

91、球形也是一种身材！

92、老婆是电视，情人是手机，在家看电视，出门带手机；破产卖电视，发财换手机；偶尔守电视，整天玩手机；固定的电视，移动的手机；频道免费，手机收费。男人都想拿着手机看电视。

93、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物。

94、废话是人际关系的第一句。

95、上联：金沙江，嘉陵江，黑龙江，江江可投！ 下联：实验楼，教学楼，宿舍楼，楼楼可跳！

横批：空前绝后

上联：爱国爱家爱师妹！ 下联：防火防盗防师兄！ 横批：恋爱自由

96、妻子如衣服?流行如此变幻，衣服的开销曰渐昂贵；男人没有一个好东西?但它毕竟是女人最大的买方市场。

97、大龄未婚男女像是坐巴士坐过了站。有时是因为巴士上的座位太舒适了，简直不愿下车；有时是因为不认识自己该下的站台。终身不结婚的男女呢？他们是巴士司机。

98、示爱者是动物，被爱者是植物。如果爱被拒绝，离开的当然是动物，因为植物是不会生出脚来跑路的。

99、有了自己的房子，未婚女子就像是凭空小了几岁，又有耐心慢慢地挑选爱人了。一男向一女征询意见：我们先租房子住，结了婚攒了钱再买房子吧？女答：那我还不如先租丈夫呢。

100、我很丑，可是我很温柔?今天的男人和女人一起改编了赵传的版本：我不完美，可是我很真实；我不漂亮，可是我很酷；我不富有，可是我很快乐；我不成功，可是我很自信；我不多情，可是我懂得珍惜。

101、生日是一个舞台，一次考验，一个机会。恋爱时，男人更会利用这一点；结婚后，女人更会利用这一点。

102、年轻时候，拍下许多照片，一本本摆在客厅给别人看；等到老了，方才明白照片是拍给自己看的。厚厚的一生的镜头摆在眼前，连写回忆录都省下了。

103、小时候把一次吃上20个包子当作人生理想时，我很幸福；当月收入超过5000之后，我仍然感觉不到快乐。当事业、爱情、家庭、金钱什么都不缺时，人们经常还缺一样东西?饥感。保有底线的欲望是幸福的。





英文版08后

1.80 After the important tasks is to create post-08.

2. Facts have proved that the feelings can withstand wind and rain, but can not stand plain; friendship can stand the plain, but can not withstand wind and rain.

3. They have the background, and I only back ~ ~.

4. Is always shining gold, but gold is all over the floor, I do not know where they are the stars.

5. To remind you to learn how to repair their own laptops, it is very important! Once upon a time there individuals, he would not repair their notebook thing ...... then we all know.

6.算卦I am not a square, and chatter not so much like to hear your嗑.

7. The outcome is not a good enough story, but the requirements of our story too!

8. Love is like a rubber band pulling two people injured is always reluctant to let go of that.

9. Flowers flowers often do not belong to the people belonging to cow dung.

10. Lies with the Oath of the difference is: one is really listening to people, and a person that really has.

11. Singleton is not difficult, it is difficult to cope with the end of those who want you to do everything possible to single people.

12. Sometimes, instead of the buy war gold other party do not care about you, but you see the other side too.

13. Even believe, hidden among a lie.

14. To pay really, really would have been, but may also be a complete injury. To maintain distance, will be able to protect themselves, but destined never lonely.

15. Real good friends, there is not a chat with a never-ending topic, but together, if not speak, do not feel embarrassed.

16. Not the other half of 100, only 50 minutes of two people!

17. Indifference, and sometimes ruthless not only a tool to avoid being hurt!

18. If we step between the distance of 1000, as long as you take Step 1, I would walk towards the direction of your step-by-step the remaining 999.

19. Usually are willing to stay and those who quarrel with you, are the real people who love you!

20, there is no dress rehearsal in life, live every day; not only low ratings, and wages are not high.

21, can be used to resolve the issue of money is not the problem, the problem is I am poor.

22, spring has arrived, and little germination of the stock market has followed the green.

23, the only woman and the hero is also sad, but also his wife and working hard to find.

24, do not complain about life all day, life would not know who you are, let alone that it will listen to you complain.

25, only know just who will inevitably be broken; only Sophie who is a coward in the end the end.

26, asked a colleague: "You bought it in oil?" My colleagues said: "Pooh! You bought it in oil. Your family to buy the China National Petroleum Corporation, Sinopec has bought!"

27, this thing is not to say that belief, they are done. Is a glorious plain, is a long arduous.

28, life is not the location of the station, but by the direction of North Korea.

29. Traveled Brothel old people are not, please use汇仁Shenbao.

30. Personals: requirements are as follows, A Living, B woman.

31. To the point of the sun I will rot.

32. To the appropriate point to eat before weight loss efforts.

33.摇啊摇, shaking to奈何桥.

34. You come back soon, I am not one忽悠!

35. Do not generally see and the Earth ~ ~ ~

36. Do not want to cook when the tailor, not a good driver.

37, love my people I do not love him I love people who do not love me so I am curious why there is so many people get married

38, love is like fast food, do not care what that smell is to fill physical needs can be

49, love to play basketball like a desperate scramble desperately to be the future when the recovery will not hesitate to go out

40, in order to better our marriage you divorce

41, the word of the fate of the individual is a contradiction, geo-, sub-?

42, Tiger did not themselves Tuesday to give you the hello kitty face

43, the day to see a Mother in烧纸while burning the side murmured: never received the funds to buy ah ~

44, if in a million, I would like to buy 30 sub-leased to others suites every day to collect a rent. Wow ~ ~咔咔enrich!

45, all in the cafeteria, study rooms, teaching crazy kissing in public in front of the building - rooms are not open! ! !

46, just days after standing practice of female students to come back with emotion: "The high-end of the session no matter how many people participate in high-end, those people were on stage with you in Sven will open, and the audience are always people who are in touch your thighs! "

47 girlfriend and I separated, but in fact our sex life is very harmonious - I impotence, she性冷淡... ...

48, is now the number of girls who dress more, but more open; the fewer the number of clothes, but the less exposed! 49, other text elements nameless hospital a lot of girls who also do露着thigh; Let's work on the homes of girls jacket + pants, two had a body wrap严严实实!

50, to coax a woman the same as linked to Q, at least two hours a day, up to a certain number of days after the sun has been ... ...

51, if given a safe environment for girls, she can let you nosebleeds YD into the death!

52, a friend's wife called the "capacity", he really happy ~ but my heart is still the favorite, "the mountain" ... ...

53, PPMM cloud eyes are overweight, with only the warmth of the eternal right hand ... ...

54, for a woman you have to用心去感受, turtle *别拿your head to think!

56, because of you, Qingdao sea waters there has been strange!!!

57, I am sorry I have arrested you, how can you also the nerve to steal it?

58, your looks of infertility!

59, Chen Peisi your partner is the younger sister Chu Pa-chieh朱时茂ah?

60, very happy, and凑够a 5, the Internet can finally!

61, into line with European prices, house prices into line with the moon, wages and the African world ... ...

62, and I do not talk about ideals, quit!

63, her mother said: do not miss the best two things. The last car to go home, and a person you love. I would like to sit the last bus to the lotro power leveling love around me.

64, the mold would rather arrogant and not humble love!

65, love it, as have not received the same injury; singing it, as no one to listen to the same; dance, like, like no one appreciate; to work on the same wage when they are not; and live on the day when this is not the same as

66, in this life, you are to the money lender or to pay off debts?

67, is used by men, so to be reliable; used to love a woman, so lovely.

68, men like to listen to the woman, but if a man likes a woman, they will listen to her words unconsciously.

69, you let me roll, I rolled. You for allowing me to come back, I am sorry, roll away the

70, do you have any unhappy things? That you let everyone happy.

71, with the iphone have a common denominator: that is not good sorry.

72, such as a child when孙仲谋find father Kim Il Sung on the find.

73,孟姜女tears down the Great Wall dry red wine, White Snake PowerWord水漫金山.

74, you forgot to do it more than slut ah

75, when the wind moving skirt, a monk said wind, said a monk dress move into I said: a non-pneumatic, non-skirt action and color are exciting!

76, as a smoke-off, must have three conditions: tobacco, lighters, and when exposed to smoke the kind of shameless charm! ]

77, very black night, I suddenly want to learn, but when I find a candle when the sky is already bright ... ...

78, now a master's degree, like the soles of the feet of a grain of rice, do not get uncomfortable, do not eat took

79, I vowed to 10,000 years in a machine-gun fire to you, but you had in a pool of blood, all encrusted bullets of Cupid!

80, 1000 Sim, I struggle to climb the top of the ladder, they found a ladder up the wrong wall

81 children dead, the milk you!

82, now a mentor teacher is not called, nor the boss called and told of scientific research contractors!

83, carrying a banner against the wind ~ ~ on to write two characters: the good guys! !

84, who had bored ah bubble nose can be used to play

85, the prevailing wind direction, it is more suitable to fly. I am not afraid of people to stop, I am afraid that a surrender.

86, good love is you see the world through a man, but the bad ones you love is a person to give up the world

87, work bored?玩吧throwing coins, on the Internet a positive and negative on the bed, put on work, hard work on the tilt, shattered and fell on the application to work overtime, if摔出two, then throw every day!

88, Comrades: other stocks, the risk is too great, or so the safest tofu! So it is hard tofu, bean curd so it is rare brain豆腐皮so thin it is, so it is not milk, is put out on the stinky tofu! You do not稳赚loss.

89, I eventually did not car BMW Biao too, only saw it running away in the sunset, the engine is not my bad, but I lost the car chain.

Linked to a chain that classic ~~~~~~

Jiacao women to take a买早点, the annoying hawkers: "Sister, you forget to jiacao it, then at least for printing, you could note this is a painting! Calmly said that painting is just, you to draw a 10, and the 5 will do, you draw back to the 7! 7 7 on the right, at least have color pictures of the, ah, even with a pencil, just black and white on black and white good, and can not use toilet paper painting ah! feel bad, even toilet paper you have to use scissors to cut Qi Bian, ah, this use of手撕, exaggerated edges, line edges I put a, can you tear a rectangular ah, this triangle can not be justified on

89, after this? Who read them?嘿嘿--

90, In fact, loneliness is on our hands and toes index; the original, remember to breathe even when the pain will be; the original, a person is a lifetime ...

91, is a spherical body!

92, his wife is a TV, Valentine's is a mobile phone, at home watching TV, go out with mobile phones; bankruptcy sale of television, make a fortune for mobile phones; occasionally Shou-TV, mobile phones all day to play; fixed TV, mobile phone; Channel free, cell phone charges. Men want to watch TV with mobile phones.

93, other people's money is my身外之物.

94, nonsense is the first sentence of interpersonal relationships.

95, on the joint: the Jinsha River, Jialing River, Heilongjiang,江江can vote!下联: laboratory building, teaching building, dormitory building, floor, floor, can jump!

横批: unprecedented

On the joint: loving the motherland and loving home师妹!下联: anti-theft anti-senior fire!横批: love freedom

96, the wife such as clothes? Popular such changes, said the cost of clothes become expensive; men do not have a good thing? But it is a woman, after all, the biggest buyer's market.

97, unmarried older men and women spent like a bus station. Sometimes because the bus seats are too comfortable, and simply do not want to get off; sometimes because they do not understand their own under the site. Life of men and women do not marry? They are bus drivers.

98, is love animals, being loved is the plant. If love is denied, of course, to leave the animals, because plants will not come to give birth to the foot of the跑路.

99, have their own house, unmarried woman out of thin air like a small age, slowly and patiently pick a lover. A man and a woman to seek advice from: We first renters, married to save money to buy a house, right? Female A: That I do not like to rent them her husband.

100, I am ugly, but I am very gentle? Today's men and women together into a version Chuan: I am not perfect, but I am true; I am not beautiful, but I am cool; I am not rich, but I am very happy ; I failed, but I am confident; I do not love, but I know how to treasure.

101, date of birth is a stage, a test, a chance. Love, the men will take advantage of this point; married women will use it.

102, when the youngest, took many photos, a book honor power leveling on the living room for others to see; wait until the old, just understand that their pictures were shot to see. Thick lenses of his life before us, have saved the link writing his memoirs.

103, a child to eat a 20 baozi life as well, I am very happy; month after income more than 5000, I still do not feel happy. When the cause of love, family, money, nothing missing, it was always lacking something? Hunger flu. The desire to maintain the bottom line is happiness.: